Dare a foot out of the eiderdown
To see what kind of cold awaits;
Share the operation with another
And together collate the data.
If both agree it would be folly
To fall out of the bed right now
Roll over closer to your honey
And share your warmth aloud.
Set a time to check again and
Draw straws of hair to choose
Who should dip a warm toe out,
And don’t forget to let her lose.
And if she shivers like a river
Run over rapids to a waterfall
Let her know she’ll be forgiven
For releasing the beds warmth.
And if she’s freezing on return
Warm her with a wrestle hold,
And soon her feathers will burn
And heat your nest once more.
As afternoon and evening pass
Arrange to make a food trip,
Quickly with a kitchen dash
And back before the mood slips.
A day in bed cannot be bought,
And partners can’t be bettered;
The world of work’s an afterthought
Compared to leisure’s sweating.
And guilty found or innocent,
Of wrapping tight and hiding,
You can justify your fainéance
When frigidity is rising.